Brazenmom

I have been reading to my daughter Amelia since she was a month old. I haven’t bothered to find out what one should read to a small baby but I know that Amelia appreciates bright colours and severely exaggerated expression. The other day I read her the information appearing on a tourist brochure of Devon (where we were holidaying) and she was enthralled. I managed to make the safety rules one should adhere to when swimming sound as exciting as a Bruce Willis action film. My little jitterbug isn’t always in the mood for story time but when she is I grab the opportunity. Mostly, she stares intently at the pages of the book and other times her gaze wonders all over the place, but I just carry on. Kidshealth states that reading aloud to your baby:

• teaches a baby about communication
• introduces concepts such as stories, numbers, letters, colours, and shapes in a fun way
• builds listening, memory, and vocabulary skills
• gives babies information about the world around them

Other than the above, reading to Amelia is just so much fun. I adore books and I hope to instil the same love of reading in her. I read Amelia all sorts, from soft cover baby friendly picture books to Nursery Rhymes to the likes of Anthony Browne’s Gorilla. At the moment, Amelia (4 months) seems most receptive to Giraffes Can’t Dance, written by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees. The story has a lovely message, the writing is lyrical and the pictures are gorgeously bright and bold. I also have two smaller hard cover books, which Amelia loves to bat with her ever roving hand as I read to her, also by Giles Andreae (and David Wojtowycz) called Commotion in the Ocean and Rumble in the Jungle. Both books feature really funny poems about oceanic and jungle animals respectively and I can already see Amelia favouring certain illustrations over others: the toothy shark and pink Octopus never fail to mesmerise. I love books with a great sense of humour and Giles Andreae seems to have just that. I think that reading stories to your baby that you find entertaining is a great place to start.

My Amelia-bug was born on December 4 and it made sense to make her first story the Christmas story. In utero she was exposed to a variety of literature; Steven King’s Salem’s Lot being her primary source of entertainment on many nights. We figured that it wasn’t the words that mattered as much as the sound of mommy or daddy’s voice, so a tale of love and vampires was as good as any. This Christmas, Amelia-bug sat on daddy’s lap and I read her the story of the humble birth of a mighty King, from The Lion Illustrated Bible for Children. This bible, Amelia’s first, is not at all a practical, baby friendly book in terms of language and design but it is beautiful. I am a sucker for children’s books, particularly ones that are beautifully illustrated. And this Bible is beautifully illustrated. Read the rest of this entry »

Natural Childbirth
Story #107 p143 from Stuff White People Like: The Definitive Guide To The Unique Taste of Millions
by Christian Lander

The early years of a child are exceptionally important. The severity and frequency of problems during this era can be directly tied to the amount of therapy and counseling required later in life. Because of this, white people are trying to do whatever they can to keep their children natural and happy, and this begins at birth.

In spite of thousands of years of human history, white people like to believe that they are the first person ever to have a child. Or at least the first to have a truly gifted, beautiful child. For white people, birthing is now a spiritual experience that must be treated appropriately. This means candles, water, doulas, and relaxing music. Modern white birth is essentially an extreme yoga class with more screaming, and it only ends when a child pops out. Read the rest of this entry »