Brazenmom

Let’s Bitch about prams. I am not a mom yet but will be in five weeks time and I am speaking out on behalf of all the pedestrians in London (and elsewhere) in case I take a different stance after my baby is born. London is a busy place and is rather overpopulated, which has forced city-dwellers to live their lives in as time-economic manner as possible: it is a survival mechanism that prams are slowly but surely unravelling. Prams have become the Brontosaurus of every London sidewalk and event: they slowly lumber in front of pedestrians, roll at the pace of zero, stop abruptly in the middle of flowing people-traffic and insist on absolute pavement domination. As baby paraphernalia spills from every possible pram appendage, these vehicles bulldoze their way onto busses, along Oxford Street on a weekend and around jam-packed city events. When I see a pram I play Ally McBeal and envision smashing those ankle-biting wheels with an axe so that they will never roll again. It would be my pleasure. I won’t even get started on the complete retardation of four- and five-year-old children sitting in prams … um legs? I get that it’s a free country and prams have as much right as any to claim their living and commuting space – all it takes is an ounce of logic and a tad of consideration. And has anyone ever heard of a sling?