Brazenmom

My little girl enjoys chewing on toothpaste tubes. I indulge her fetish as long as she keeps the lid on – a mouthful of white paste, although delicious to a child (I used to eat toothpaste back in the day) and probably good for the teeth, can’t be good for the tummy.

However, today I found Amelia dunking her precious tube into the toilet bowl. Luckily we are healthy flushers. But still… I guess she may as well ingest toothpaste if pee and poo are par for the culinary course of taste intrigue.

Keeping the seat down is no longer a sufficient deterrent. My little lovely can pry it open with the force of toddler on a mission. Read the rest of this entry »

When a young woman reaches a certain age, she begins to feel the pressure as her biological clock ticks louder and faster. Often, though, this pressure is brought on by well-meaning outsiders asking, “When are you going to get a boyfriend?”

Then, “When are you going to get married?”

Followed by, “When are you going to have a baby?”

And, “When are you going to have another baby?”

There is barely enough time to catch your breath between questions. Angelique was not even a day old when the nurses started making comments like, “See you in a year’s time for the next one.” I wish I could have made some snarky retort but, alas, I was still recovering from the anaesthetic and trying to process the fact that my baby was finally in my arms. (Next time, I will think of a few comments before the birth so I can be prepared.) Read the rest of this entry »

No one tells you that this whole learning to walk thing is going to be murder on your back. My daughter has reached the age where crawling is no longer enough of a challenge and cruising along the furniture provides a limited experience. So I now spend a large part of each day hunched over, holding Angelique’s hands as she explores our flat.

We’ve chosen not to buy a walking ring; partly because there’s really no space for it here, but also because I read one too many articles about possible damage to little feet. Perhaps I’m also against walking rings as a result of my own bad experience as a baby. Apparently, like Angelique, I imagined myself as a mini-stuntwoman. So I raced headfirst for a step. No prizes for guessing what happened next. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had so many parents ask me where to start with potty training. First of all let’s change those words to toilet training because the easiest and quickest way to toilet train your child is to skip the potty step. I’m just not a fan of the potty, it’s a bit gross and also it isn’t the end goal for your child – once they have mastered the potty, they have to start all over again.

Toilet training can take a matter of days if you start at the right time. A child needs to know that something is happening down there. This can sometimes be encouraged by putting underwear on your child, and therefore when they do their business they will feel it. If your child is showing an awareness while still in nappies they may hide when they feel the urge or they may start to walk funny or even look down. Read the rest of this entry »

Motherhood is not for sissies.

Forget about labour and the actual birth, it’s what comes afterwards that really tests your strength. Poopy nappies, snotty noses, projectile vomit … being a parent is not for the faint-hearted, that’s for sure.

I have learned, in a mere eight months of being a mom, that it is a good idea to keep a burp cloth in every room of the house, as well as in each car, an extra one in the nappy bag, and one or two at the grandparents’ houses. One of the side-effects of teething is extra up-chucking, and regurgitated chicken, peas and milk are one of the many things I look forward to each day. Read the rest of this entry »

My 16-month-old daughter loves digging in the dustbin. I am raising a pleb.

The smelling pit of putridness that wallows in my kitchen, basking in the deceptive glamour of stainless steel, is like honey to a bee for Amelia-the-peasant. Manky sponges and rotting straws are her most valued discoveries. She is also partial to the occasional yoghurt carton. Read the rest of this entry »

As well as water and milk, Rooibos tea has become a staple drink for my fourteen-month-old daughter. She has it with breakfast, lunch and dinner and thinks it’s DElicious. Rooibos, more commonly known as ‘Redbush’ in the UK – a direct translation from the Afrikaans “Rooibos” (pronounced Roy-Boss) – is a flowering shrub that grows in the Cedarberg mountain region in South Africa’s Western Cape, about 250 km north of Cape Town, and is thus popular in the region of southern Africa. Read the rest of this entry »

There once was a girl with big blue eyes who ate a sandwich for lunch every day.

Although the little girl loved her sandwich, she didn’t really understand its point; she would pick it apart bit by little bit, no matter what the filling.

You see, this little girl was of the opinion that the package was more promising than the delivery. In other words, eating the ‘sandwich’ in its parts is much yummier than eating it as a whole – duh! Read the rest of this entry »

Amelia’s daddy gets her dressed every morning. And he is really quite style savvy. Of late he has decided that it’s time for our little lovely to start choosing her own clothes. So he will lay out four of each item and allow her to choose a skirt, tee and tights (or whatever the outfit of the day is). I often giggle as I listen to my man encouraging our 16-month-old to make her choice, and she does so with great enthusiasm.

Amelia certainly knows exactly what she likes to wear. Today it so happens to be a pink shirt with a kitty print, a skirt with an orange frill and brown tights with polka dots. It’s not hard to predict her choices. Read the rest of this entry »

So, today I found my daughter happily dunking her cup of milk into the toilet. I have no idea if she had had a swig after dunking said cup. I’m thinking more along the lines of she did.

On a recent trip to the playground Amelia scooped a half eaten, rotten looking, biscuit off of the floor and shoved it into her mouth before I could whisk it away. Yum. Read the rest of this entry »